A Personal Experience of a Medical Doctor
As a medical doctor, I often witness many experiences in the personal lives of my patients. But if you were to ask me what was the most remarkable experience in my own life, I would reply with full assurance that it was the day I entered into a personal, subjective experience of God. Please allow me to share my experience with you.
Family Background
I was born in mainland China and was brought up in Taiwan. My family members never had any contact with Christianity. All we knew were the words of Confucius and the worship of our ancestors. My parents considered Christianity as a kind of foreign cultural invasion and opposed it. They would not even allow me to participate in any kind of Christian activity.
As a young boy I loved the simple and beautiful things of nature. I loved to roam through hills and woods, brooks and springs. I could spend the whole day watching the sunrise, the sunset, the moon at night, and all kinds of animals and plants.
A Search for God
Through the deep appreciation of the beauty of nature- I began to consider the existence of a Creator. In my young heart I called Him the “Center of the Universe,” but alas, to me He was just the “Unknown God.” A kind of desire started to develop in me to know God in an intimate and personal way. Many questions puzzled me; but I knew intuitively that all these questions would be answered if I could only know God for myself.
I could not stop asking myself: What is the real meaning of life? Where will the journey of life eventually lead me? How do I know whether the destination of this journey coincides with my own life-goal?” To me life was too serious to be considered lightly. I had only one life to live, and I wanted to make the most of it. As time passed by, I became quite anxious to find the answer to these questions lest I should spend all my life in vain! At the age of fifteen I found myself crying out from the deepest part of my heart, “God, where are you? Let me find you! If you reveal Yourself to me, I will follow you all my life.!”
From then on I spent much time reading philosophy. However, the more I studied, the more I was confused. Doubts and bewilderments continued to haunt me. What was hindering me from knowing God?
My First Christian Meeting
In my freshman year at college, I was invited to my first Christian meeting. Those I met impressed me deeply with the joy and peace of knowing God. They really had something that I had never seen in anyone else. Seeing that I was eager to know God, one of them helped me concerning two points.
My Sins
First, he pointed out that it was my sins that separated me from God {1 John 1:7-9}. My sins defiled and blinded me, making any relationship with God impossible. The only way to remove this barrier was to apply the blood of Jesus.
My Spirit
Second, he showed me that God in His nature is Spirit {John 4:24}, and that He could only be received and enjoyed by my human spirit. While I was trying desperately to reach God through study and meditation, my futile efforts indicated that I was simply using the wrong organ. The appropriate organ is the human spirit. Although the function of my human spirit was deadened because of sins, by applying the cleansing of the blood of Jesus, my human spirit could be enlivened and restored to its original function of contacting and receiving God. This was the best news that I had ever heard.
An Experiment
I was determined to try an experiment –to put what my new friend had said to the test. I opened my heart to Jesus, applied His precious blood and received Him into me. After praying in this way, my heart was filled with peace and joy unspeakable. I knew Jesus Christ had come into me. The experiment worked.
A Changed Life
Many years have passed by since I first received the Lord. He is so real and exciting. My life has been filled with many wonderful experiences of Him. Let me just point out three such experiences.
1. Concerning Stealing
First, before I received the Lord, I had stolen quite a number of books to add to my own collection. But after I met the Lord, He touched my conscience concerning those books and asked me to deal with them. Eventually, I felt I had to send a letter of apology to the bookstore and repay them with interest. After I did this, my inner peace became so real.
2. Concerning Ancestor Worship
Second, after I received the Lord, the worship of family ancestors became a problem. Since the Lord was living within me, I no longer had any peace to worship the images of my ancestors. At that time it was a Chinese custom to have such worship at holidays and festivals. But because I would not participate in such worship, I was literally beaten up and cast out from my family. But the enjoyment of Christ was with my spirit. I had not even a trace of bitterness toward my family, but rather was moved with compassion to pray for them day and night. Eventually they realized my unchanging love toward them. Now not only are the misunderstandings over, but some other members of my family have received the Lord as I did.
3. On My Job
Third, as a practicing physician, I participate daily in one of the most intensive aspects of medicine – anesthesiology. I work mostly in the operating room and in the intensive care unit. Since the condition of my patients may easily deteriorate in a very short period of time, there is the need for absolute concentration and the ability to respond quickly. This may seem difficult, and it is; but many times I experience the strengthening and refreshing of the Lord. I often come home singing and feeling refreshed because of my enjoyment of God. He is the One to Whom I can always turn.
Available to All
Friends, this is not a theory or a doctrine. You personally may have this same experience. It is my sincere prayer and hope that this little testimony can be of some help to you to enter into the intimate and personal experience of the Lord Jesus.
John Chang M.D.